Life is a journey for everyone, kids included
19 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
I realize that it is a challenge for some, my hubby included, to accept flexibility and change in a child’s life. We are taught to structure our lives so much that we have become ‘slaves to the routine’.
So after a week of self directed learning our 6 1/2 year old daughter decided to go back to school. My hubby played a part in the decision, and like the title of the post says, we are all on a journey, at different places on the path, and I think my hubby may be at a place that motivated him to ask her, “Yara, what do you think of going back to finish 1st grade, since it’s only 8 more weeks? You said you’d like to see your friends, right?” And to my surprise, Yara said she would like to go back just to be with them before she leaves the US, but is shy of what might happen. She was unsure of what to say to the children when they asked where she had been, and that was the part that surprised me. I didn’t think that Yara would be influenced by peer pressure or what other’s thought, especially friends she only knew for a few months. It really re-opened my eyes to the whole concept of peer pressure in childhood. I tried to remember a time when I was a child and I felt like that, and I could remember worrying that I would not fit in and it sucked! Again, it reminded me of how impressionable children are and how the skill and confidence to believe in your own thoughts and feelings needed the correct environment and interactions to be cultivated, which made me think, “And she’s going back to the place where she developed the concept that being like others is more important than being true to herself?!”
But I then took a step back and admitted, that yes, her family, I, could have also contributed to that philosophy of “pleasing others and making mama and baba happy is the most important thing”. Reflecting on how I felt also brought to mind a kind of peace with whatever decision she made about going back to school or not because ‘it wasn’t the end of the world’ either way. I sat calmly as she listen to Manaf explain that she could say she had allergy symptoms that week, which she did for two days, and since she was home mama decided to introduce some new ways of learning and Yara tried it out. Yara nodded and decided, yes, I’ll go back to finish 1st grade.
During her week at home she set up a blog with my help, investigated what shells are made of and what kinds of shells there are, built a model city of Manama, helped with house chores, and gained a sense of confidence from being able to learn and discover from unplanned events and experiences also. Before this week she had the opportunity to join a girls soccer league but was not confident enough to try it out, but on the weekend after the week at home, she decided to join and try it out. Here are a few photos of Yara at her first match last Sat.
Really disturbing and very hard to ignore
18 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Advocacy, Early Childhood, Parenting Tags: adoption policy, China One Child Policy, current-events, infanticide, international adoption, kony, politics, society
This has been in the back of my mind now for a while, ever since I was it on FB. The day I saw it I decided: “you know what, to hell with it, let’s start a petition!”, and did just that. This is my first petition, but with being in the US and being in a number of groups related to birth and family, I have seen a number of petitions over the last 18 months, and this is no lesser of a cause.
I need to go back to the change.org page and see what I can update or do further about the petition, but today I was thinking, hasn’t anyone picked up on this? I did some research (30 min the other day) on the topic of the one child policy (ya, they call it a policy. So that baby died because of a policy) in China (and BTW, this happens in other places too) and it seems it has a good bit of support (see here for stats). But that is not the issue here, the issue is that someone apparently thinks they have the right to murder an infant and not be held accountable for it. Ok, so they have a policy, but every policy or law or rule is sometimes broken, what are they going to do about it? KILL the infant!! That human being did not decide to be made, or to be born, she should not have someone take her life because someone else decided to ‘make’ her. This is the epitome of human horror and barbaric behavior.
Why don’t they set up a mandatory adoption policy for people who did not follow the one child policy? People who had a second child without permission have to give their child up for adoption, even international adoption would be great. The baby then does not have to be born to only be killed because…….some dude thinks so! Have you heard of Kony 2012? Look it up, but this situation is worse, I mean, it just makes me so, so, so everything negative! Sad, angry, depressed, desperate, enraged! Then there is the whole issue of what is anyone doing about? NOTHING!! No, no, this can’t be! There is no group fighting for the lives of these babies!! It just doens’t seem right, something must be done. Who can make a change? Are the people at UNICEF the right people to do something? I dunno, but when creating the petition, they are who came to mind.
I’d love to hear from anyone who knows anything about this or knows anyone else who knows something about this issue. Please share
BTW, in case you missed the disturbing news, here it is
Reform begins in the cradle
02 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Advocacy, Alternative Education, Early Childhood, Parenting, Self Development, Self Learning & exploration Tags: Bahrian, child abuse, childhood, reform, teacher abuse
After reading about a very disturbing situation in which a child was ridiculed by a teacher in the public school system in Bahrain, these thoughts came to mind.
Reform needs to happen in the kindergarten if not in the preschool (ideally in the cradle!). People fail to see how susceptible young children are;they fail to realize the inevitable truth: these ‘children’ WILL grow into youth and then young adults. They will develop a will of their own, and the thoughts, beliefs and ideas that they hold highly will guide this will, whatever those thoughts may be.
From the day the cluster of cells come together to form the brain in utro, this magnificent organ is gathering data on what it will take to survive, and possible thrive. At birth the microbes that either fill the birth canal or cover the surfaces of ‘sterile’ hospital equipment or hands are assimilated into the newborns body in order to fight off diseases and pathogens that his ancestors have in the past. The magnificence of life has put these steps in place, steps that will allow the newborn human to adapt to his environment. The thing is, like in the case of newborns born via cesarean that come in touch with hospital microbes first in comparison to their mother’s much needed, beneficial to an easier life microbes , the human mind is non-judgmental by nature. A kid will believe not only what he is told, but even more so what he observes; what his mind senses over and over again. And if what he hears, sees, feels and observes over and over again is aggression, sectarianism, and feelings of inequality or supremacy, then that becomes ‘his’ reality.
We need to start with the children; we need to grant them, their very capable mind, the opportunity to grow life loving, life-giving, co-existing frames of mind. This is the way of the future, there is no other way. The world has grown so diverse yet connected that it is so apparent now that we need to embrace “live and let live”. I would highly recommend talking to your children about this, over and over again, on their terms, when they want to and as often as they want to. Be open, be true to yourself, and if you have demons inside, metaphorically speaking, let them observe you face them and make changes to your pattern of thoughts and beliefs. This way they observe your transformation to a global human. We start with our own, and then possibly we reach other children, weather through a smile on the street, an act of unexpected kindness, or a long conversation. But honestly, for our children to grow unconditional positive regard towards all others, they must witness it, over and over. As one man put it, we have to start with the man, or woman in the mirror.
